Three Weeks Until Our FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Hopefully we will be doing our transfer three weeks from today...but I'm not holding my breath yet. My last birth control pill was Friday morning and I still haven't gotten my period. I called the nurses line and they said to call if I don't get it by Thursday. If I don't, they will do an ultrasound to see if my lining is thin. If it is, we will proceed as scheduled and I will start getting hopped up on estrogen. If not...I don't know. I'm hoping to not find out.

If all goes well, I'll be starting my multiple forms of estrogen on Thursday. They will have me in for an ultrasound on May 9, and if all is well we will proceed with the FET on May 20.

I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling. I just don't think this time is going to work. Whether that means we don't get to try because of some new, random fluke or if the two embryos just plain don't take. I don't know.

Maybe it's the lupron talking. It makes me crazy and depressed. It's a drug that makes your body think it is going through menopause (so you don't ovulate when you aren't supposed to). It just screws with my hormones, and consequently I'm a nut case. I always thought other women were overreacting about how emotional and crazy/crabby they become on lupron, but it has proven true. I take consolation in the fact that I know my reactions are a result of the hormone game playing that is IVF, but I still look crazy. I was the crazy girl that fled from church five minutes into mass crying...no balling. Who cries at a song about joy in the world with bouncing babies all over the place...yep, that's crazy Erin! I can't wait to be myself again.

I'll let you know if my monthly friend ever shows. I guess she doesn't know it's rude to be two days late to an event.