In Infertility News...

We had our frozen embryo transfer (FET) on Addie's first birthday, January 27th. I took a home pregnancy test (HPT) the following Wednesday...and it was positive! I was paranoid, of course, so I did four more over the next four days. They were all positive.

Now, you would think a girl would just be happy and start really thinking she was pregnant. Not any girl who has suffered through infertility. It simply means you are currently pregnant, but whether it will stick is yet to be seen. Call it pessimistic, but I just have to protect myself.

So, I went to my reproductive endocrinologist's (RE's) office for my beta HCG blood test. They take two, one on a Friday and the next on a Monday, before telling you the results. Friday's test was 30.7...Mondays was 20.4. No, beta HCG results are not supposed to drop. They are supposed to double in 72 hours. So, they said it was probably a chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage), but I had to keep going back to make sure my levels were dropping.

Well, my beta HCG levels did NOT drop. Exciting, you may say...again, not in the world of infertility. They were raising just enough to not be going away, but not enough to be a viable pregnancy. It was then that they sent me to my ObGyn for follow up. Over last weekend, before my Ob appointment, I got my period. Perfect, this is resolving itself...but still no luck.

After another beta HCG blood test, it was ruled an ectopic pregnancy (yes, my beta went up, even with my period). So, at least one of our little embryos took, he or she just thought my tubes looked like a good spot to settle. Ugh. Now, the real fun begins.

Tomorrow I have to go to the Infusion Therapy department of St. John's hospital to receive a methotrexate injection. Yes, google that, it is chemo therapy. It will rid me of my 'unwanted cells'. Yes, essentially the girl who pays thousands to get pregnant is now paying for a form of abortion. The universe has a funny sense of humor. (Don't worry, I know it isn't a viable pregnancy and I run the risk of tubal rupture if I don't do anything. It just sucks...trying so hard to create life only to take more drugs to end it.)

Really, I'm doing fine with everything. The salt in the wound is that we can't try to conceive again for at least three months. As the consent form says, we must use at least two forms of contraceptive to prevent pregnancy for the next three months. Well, infertility is one, we'll have to come up with another. Seriously, somebody is having a good laugh at me right now. All when I thought that I might really be conquering the world of infertility (picture me hands on hips, cape billowing in the wind). I guess I'll put my cape away and try again in three months or so? Addie will be getting lots of extra hugs.